Monday, April 25, 2011

Three times is the Charm... Getting Married # 1

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Some people get married once
Some people get married twice
Some people get married three times to THE SAME guy… and yes this would be me…

How do you get married three times, well, it isn’t because I really wanted too but sometimes life throws you a little curve ball and you just have to go with it…


Bastiaan proposed to me in November of 2007. In a really nice restaurant in Fort Wayne, we had been together for over 6 years and he figured it was time, and so did I, so I said “YES!” (And we got a free dessert from the people sitting next to us in the restaurant which made it extra nice).

We set our date to be on July 5th 2008 so our family and friends would have enough time to come over and book a flight from the Netherlands, Canada or Australia. At that date we would have the party and our church wedding. Of course we just started milking on the 20th of November and everything was still very hectic, exciting and stressful but also an immense adventure and we were loving every moment of it!

Because Bastiaan’s visa was going to expire in February we needed too make sure he would be "safe" and we decided to get married in the Courthouse in Bluffton, just to get the paperwork done. Go to Holland make sure the visa’s were in order and then get “really” married in July. For us this “wedding” was a necessity. We would of preferred to have done it on the same day as our church wedding but if you have so many people coming from abroad you need to give them proper time to make arrangements and plan flights. Telling them in November you are going to get married in February is not enough time, we figured.

I do, # 1...
We were already flabbergasted when we went to the courthouse to get a marriage license. Question one; ‘Have you been married before?’, ‘ No…’. Question two; ‘Do you have any children?’, ‘No…’ Question three; ‘Do you have mental problems?' ‘HU? NO!!!’. Those questions plus the actual license cost us $9.00 which was shocking (Yes, the price as well as the questions)! They told us now that we had the license we should get our witnesses and we would be ready to go…


On January 18th it was COLD!!! As in we (Dutchies) are not used to this kinda weather! But because I wanted to make sure this was at least a little special, it was our wedding after all, I wore a skirt (never mind the fact that an hour before I was still running around in coveralls on the farm trying to get things in order and Bastiaan was working on fixing a tractor!) and Bastiaan got a nice new shirt and my mom & dad and brother were coming, all dressed up too after running around on the farm all morning. Because of the dairy start up we hadn’t really had the opportunity to meet a lot of new people who could stand in as our witnesses and so my parents were going to be our witnesses.

We agreed with Bastiaan’s parents and my little sister that we would put them on speaker phone when it was time to do the ceremony so they would listen to us say our 'I do’s'. We did not want them to feel left out, but we also didn’t want them to travel two times, after all the June wedding was going to be our “official” wedding, and we rater had them there at that time!

So on this cold day we went to the Bluffton Courthouse and which was another SHOCKER where out of the courthouse and married for the very first time WITHIN 15 (if it lasted that long) MINUTES!

Before Bastiaan and I knew what was going on we were officially married! The only thing I really remember was the major saying those things that we only hear on TV or in the movies, now for real right in front of us which was pretty amazing! And naturally my new husband being very sweet and handsome!

After we got out off the courthouse we went to the Mexican restaurant to celebrate and got a great lunch, after that it was pretty much back to business as usual…

Soon after our “Court Wedding” Bastiaan and I picked the venue and the church and met with the priest, picked what we wanted to eat and who we would love to have at our special day and THAT was pretty much the extend of what he wanted and needed to do… (Being a boy and planning weddings apparently doesn’t go together…).


Me and a friend on the other hand decided on getting organized and we got a Marta Steward planning guide (haha, yep) and the next months we were extremely busy getting everything done and ready. In the beginning of April 2008 the first wedding invitations went to our 200 guests all over the world…

On April 15th I got a phone call.
‘Sorry, but you got cancer…’.
Within 5 minutes our whole world as we knew it changed.

Four weeks after getting “the news”, being true several surgeries and debating different types off chemo, we canceled the wedding...

Together we decided to fight this beast first, make sure we were healthy and yes then we would get married, for Real. But at that time we really did not know or realize how bad it was going to be...

Next Thursday I’ll tell you about us getting married for the second time, without us really realizing what exactly was happening!


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32 comments:

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

What a story!
When we got married (in Texas) we had to sign a clause promising we weren't related, LOL!

TexWisGirl said...

sweet photo of you on the courthouse steps. :) i cannot imagine the curveball you were both thrown (along with your families).

Sue from Ky. said...

........and I'll return for "the rest of the story".I do love happy endings.

MadSnapper said...

my question is, WHY do we have to wait until next Thursday, this mean i have to bite my nails in anticipation.... LOVE this story. except the part about the cancer, but we alredy know that turned out ok eventually.
my first husband we had the Big Wedding and long white dress and were divorced after 18 years. 26 years ago I married Bob and we went to the courthouse, he wore cowboy shirt and jeans and boots and i wore a dress. you are right 15 minutes and we were married. and this courthouse marriage has lasted almost 27 years. thanks for sharing your story with us and Congrats because you guessed what the cow magnet was yesterday. i knew you would know since you are a dairy farmer. i was shocked to the tip of my toes when i found it is TRUE.

Jill said...

What an interesting life. Can't wait to read about wedding number 2 and 3! Love the photo of you in front of the courthouse.

bon bon said...

you crazy kids look so happy! i think your life story is destined to be a book, as it's almost too late in the game to get on oprah! ;o)

About JollyJilly said...

Hi blog hopping over from the Uk
Nice to meet you
Please come visit me anytime
www.jollyjillys.blogspot.com

Larkrise garden girl said...

Stay tune, I can hardly wait!

It's me said...

Wauwwww...what a story !! ...lovely week.....Ria.....fijne week meis......xxx...

LBB said...

I can't wait for the rest of the story!!

Faye Henry said...

All I can say is WOW:-) Having heard the same words that you heard on the phone makes me feel sick for you...
Waiting for next week...
Praying God's blessings on you two...

Unknown said...

Thursday?
you are so cruel, I'll be biting my nails!

Unknown said...

I am a new follower. Please follow me back at http://my-2-cents.blogspot.com

Thank you

Unknown said...

Can't wait for part 2! :)

Unknown said...

I'm so glad you are posting about this!! Can't wait to hear about wedding #2!

farmer said...

Thursday? really?
I love the pictures,you look so happy.
I could not imagine what you were feeling when you found out you had cancer,you look so very young....I'm glad you are better.

BigD said...

Good story!
I know a couple who was married more than 20 times. It was their "thing" to get married in every state. So, wherever they traveled, they visited a court house and did it again.
If they had ever wanted a divorce, it would've been a paperwork mess!
Good seeing you again today!

Dreaming said...

I can't wait to read about wedding #2. Wedding #1 sounded rather hectic and like perhaps it was a bit of a let down... 3 questions, $9 and less than 15 minutes later! Wow!... I could have saved a ton of money!

Unknown said...

AS I grow to know you, I am realizing that every day is an adventure with you! Thankfully I also know how this ends so I can wait for the details, but my goodness, what a fighter you are, and all of your family as well, especially Bastiaan!

Nicole @ Two and Two is 4 said...

I'm following you back!!! Thanks for joining my blog hop!!
And great story!! I can't wait to read the rest!!!

XmasDolly said...

That's a beautiful story, but you signed your name to a linky Monday's Music Moves Me, and you have a video on your blog, and grab my button. I don't see the video or my button. Am I in the wrong place???

Kim said...

what a great story! I do love that pic on the courthouse steps. Can't wait to hear the rest.

Megan said...

I read every word even though I've heard the story in real life. So glad that you are sharing the story on here.

LifeBelowZero said...

Well, he must be your MR Right! Congrats, Congrats, Congrats!

New Follower via Tuesday Train

Life Below Zero
http://casinofreebies3.blogspot.com/

Megan said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog :)

What an interesting story!! I sure hope it has a happy ending :) I'm looking forward to reading more!

Unknown said...

Thanks for your sweet comments! The suspense is killing me...I will stay tuned to hear the rest of what sounds to be a wonderful love story!

Ribbons -n- Rags said...

You two make a beautiful couple!!! Thanks for visiting my blog.

Shawna said...

Hello,
I'm your newest follower. Found you on My Adventures In Mommyland's blog hop. Please stop by my blog when you have time. Thanks! http://mommywholovesgiveaways.blogspot.com/2011/04/blog-hop-skip-jump-wednesday.html
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!

Ginny said...

can't wait until next thursday to read more!!!

www.ginandjuicyjuice.blogspot.com

Unknown said...

GFC follow *heavensent1* from the BHS&J Wednesday Hop...ifn you have a moment, please stop by my place and have a look around ~ Mad Moose Mama ~ http://madmoosemama.blogspot.com ~ Have yourself a groovy day...peaces...xoxo

Nancy Grossi ~ Churned In Cali ~ The Wife of a Dairyman said...

Wow, three times! Looking forward to the other two stories:)

Leah Beyer said...

I am loving that you are finally filling me in on this!